One Word Game Reviews

In keeping with my criticism of game reviews I thought, rather than just be a critic of the critics why not try to implement a system which would be able to get around the rhetoric. A system inwhich the usual garbage which is associated with a game review can be pushed aside in order to get to the meat of the review.Ultimately, there is nothing which can get around personal opinion, as every review, no matter how it is written, will be influenced by this. But what about something which simplified the process so that gamers could get an understanding of the game in an easy digest format. Cause, let's face it, that is what the cynical gamer is about.

This is why I have come up with a simple system called "One Word Game Reviews". While I will say now that some of those words may be hyphenated, they will pretty much consist of one word. To get around the numbered rating system which usually is 1 to 10, or 1 to 5 or 5 stars, I will implement a rating between 1 and 1,000,000. This way there can be no confusion as to exactly what is the difference between two stars and three stars (taken into consideration would you consider two stars to be 40% and three stars to be 60%? If this is the case then there is a huge disparity with a star or 1 to 5 based rating system).

I will base the reviews based only on games which I have played. This way there can be no speculation as to whether I am making the review up or not. The game title will be followed with the one word review and then the rating.

Cynical Gamers "One Word Reviews"
Titan Quest - Diablo 2 - 700,000/1,000,000

Oblivion - Morrowind-on-speed - 825,000/1,000,000

Dungeons and Dragons Online - Potential - 575,000/1,000,000

Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter - tom-clancy-returns - 750,000/1,000,000

Sin Episodes - forgettable - 400,000/1,000,000

Half Life 2 Episode 1 - should-have-been-part-of-the-half-life-2-release - 600,000/1,000,000

X3 Reunion - open-ended-madness - 700,000/1,000,000

Condemned - violent - 650,000/1,000,000

Grand Theft Auto San Andreas - all-time-favourite - 900,000/1,000,000

Boiling Point - persist-with-it - 750,000/1,000,000

World of Warcraft - money-making-machine - 600,000/1,000,000

Quake 4 - fun - 700,000/1,000,000

Medal of Honour: Pacific Assault - linear-more-so-than-half-life-2 - 300,000/1,000,000

FEAR - insane-AI - 800,000/1,000,000

Rag Doll Kung Fu - don't-even-think-about-it - 1/1,000,000

Rainbow Six: Lockdown - they-turned-an-excellent-sim-shooter-into-arcade-trash - 200,000/1,000,000

Alright, so my one word reviews don't quite work, but the 1 to 1,000,000 rating system is quite definitive. Wonder if someone will pick that concept up (not). Obviously it is not easy to keep to one word in order to review a game. Word limitation can be a positive and a negative it just depends on what you use the words for. It is definitely impossible to keep personal opinion out of a review. What are you left with? The possibility of reviewing games with robots so that emotion can be left out of them?

Cyncial Gamer's Favourite game of the last 12 months - Grand Theft Auto San Andreas