Introducing GrumpyOldGamer
I would like to introduce someone new to www.thecynicalgamer.com today. As there are more demands on myself to provide differing views on gaming and the gaming industry, I have had to expand my staff here. Based on the budget which I have to work with (being nothing) I have found someone who has a great deal of experience and came at the right price (for free) to assist me with providing up-to-date cynical games coverage this is grumpyoldgamer.
What I will do is provide an interview with him today so that you can get to know him a bit better. He is a little hard of hearing and I only have him on loan from the nursing home for a solid ten minutes. Rather than put him in to the thick of it, I will get grumpyoldgamer to provide his own unique point-of-view on the games articles I post. This is to ease him in to it and to get everyone used to him.
cynicalgamer (CG) - Welcome to the team.
grumpyoldgamer(GOG) - What ...
CG - I SAID WELCOME TO THE TEAM.
GOG - There's no need to yell ...
CG - I didn't know if you had your hearing aid turned on.
GOG - I don't have a hearing aid.
CG - What's that in your ear then?
GOG - There's something in my ear? I didn't notice.
CG - Anyway, we've started the interview.
GOG - You said that I could have a sherry.
CG - I said you could have a sherry after you'd finished.
GOG - So, we're not finished?
CG - No, we've just started.
GOG - Well, hurry up then.
CG - Welcome to the team.
GOG - What team? There's only two of us.
CG - That constitutes a team.
GOG - Doesn't that make us partners?
CG - In this case it's a team. I don't know you well enough to make you a partner and you are not my type.
GOG - What are you inferring?
CG - I would like to get back to the interview.
GOG - Well, you are the one taking it off track. Asking all of these ridiculous questions.
CG - I thought you would like to tell everyone why you'd be an important member of cynicalgamer.com.
GOG - What's it to you? Are you a cop or something?
CG - I already know what you are going to bring, but I thought you could tell everyone else.
GOG - What do you mean everyone else? There's only the two of us here.
CG - Remember we are doing an interview? Look, how about I tell everyone why you are onboard.
GOG - You just do that, but a little sherry might help me to get talking a bit. You know they call alcohol the truth serum.
CG - You have had more experience in gaming than anyone I know. I thought that you would be able to provide invaluable critical comment based on your life experience and your long time commitment as a gamer.
GOG - What would you know? You are only a relative infant ...
CG - Hang on, I am 33.
GOG - Like I said, when you get to my age you understand that you are only just getting out of your nappies by the time you hit 40.
CG - Well, let's tell them your age.
GOG - I think that is a bit rude, don't you.
CG - I've told everyone mine. Why not let them know yours.
GOG - In my day you didn't do that. You had a decent amount of respect for your elders. When you get to my age there aren't a whole lot of people who are older than you so that means I don't have to respect anyone.
CG - Anyway, let's just say that you have passed beyond the century mark.
GOG - Well, you are rude aren't you.
CG - You should be proud of how old you are.
GOG - Tell everyone that I am 21.
CG - I think that the gaming public will respect the fact that you are a hard core gamer because of how old you are.
GOG - They should respect me because of how old I am.
CG - But they don't know how old you are.
GOG - To tell them would be rude. You didn't do that in my day.
CG - How about we tell them that you have seen the turn of two centuries.
GOG - You've just told them how old I am.
CG - I want to get things on track. Remember, you are meant to be bringing your wisdom and gaming knowledge to thecynicalgamer.com
GOG - Yes, well that's to be expected. And what do you bring? What kind of humour is cynicism anyway? What you take something and twist it in to what you would call humour. I just think that you turn things in to the lowest common denominator for everyone.
CG - That is why we now have you. You will offer a completely different perspective. So, what's your favourite game?
GOG - Tennis.
CG - What is your favourite video game?
GOG - Miner 2049er.
CG - What's that one? I haven't heard of it. Is it a shooter?
GOG - A shooter? What you mean like space invaders? No, it is not like space invaders. There is a console out at the moment, but I am having some difficulty getting games for it. It's called the Atari 2600.
CG - The Atari 2600 was out 20 years ago.
GOG - Well, 20 years is probably a long time to you, but it is not for someone at my age. 20 years passes in the blink of an eye. Nothing happens quickly anyway. Do you know how long it took them to build the Sydney Harbour Bridge?
CG - No.
GOG - It took them nearly ten years. See, nothing decent can happen quicker than that. The Sydney Harbour Bridge is a beautiful icon of what makes our country Australian.
CG - But that has nothing to do with gaming.
GOG - It has everything to do with gaming. If it took them ten years to build that how could anyone make anything better in less time?
CG - Electronic Arts release a new sports game every 12 months.
GOG - How could they possibly make anything which is going to last a thousand years in 12 months? Do you know how long it took them to build the pyramids and they have lasted for longer than you and me ever will?
CG - But we are not talking about building something that will last an eternity, we are talking about video games. They come out all the time. A new one comes out, people buy it then they uninstall it and buy a new game.
GOG - See, that is your problem. You have no appreciation for the things you buy. You have subscribed to this "throw away" society. Buy a car and throw it away. I had the same wife for 60 years, just like I've had the same fridge for 30. I still wear clothes that I bought 30 years ago, because I know what a tailor is. You see I understand the value of the things that I buy. The youth of today don't understand the value of money.
CG - Alright.
GOG - If I play a game I want to get at least 20 years value out of it. I bought a deck of cards in the 60s and I am still playing bridge with them. I think that deck of cards cost me two and six.
CG - I understand what you are saying, but new games come out all the time now. People play them for six or even ten hours and then are finished with them.
GOG - And how much do they pay for these games?
CG - Between $70 to $120 depending on the format and the game.
GOG - What? You are kidding me right? That is how much I used to earn in a month when I was in my prime. That is highway robbery. Entertainment that lasts six to ten hours and costs you that much money? I knew prostitutes, not that I would do the wrong thing by my Marjory, who would charge you $10 and give you an hours entertainment. You young people must be loaded. You should be paying me for my time here.
CG - I guess times have changed.
GOG - Maybe they have. I think your ten minutes is up. I want my sherry now.
CG - Thanks grumpy.
What I will do is provide an interview with him today so that you can get to know him a bit better. He is a little hard of hearing and I only have him on loan from the nursing home for a solid ten minutes. Rather than put him in to the thick of it, I will get grumpyoldgamer to provide his own unique point-of-view on the games articles I post. This is to ease him in to it and to get everyone used to him.
cynicalgamer (CG) - Welcome to the team.
grumpyoldgamer(GOG) - What ...
CG - I SAID WELCOME TO THE TEAM.
GOG - There's no need to yell ...
CG - I didn't know if you had your hearing aid turned on.
GOG - I don't have a hearing aid.
CG - What's that in your ear then?
GOG - There's something in my ear? I didn't notice.
CG - Anyway, we've started the interview.
GOG - You said that I could have a sherry.
CG - I said you could have a sherry after you'd finished.
GOG - So, we're not finished?
CG - No, we've just started.
GOG - Well, hurry up then.
CG - Welcome to the team.
GOG - What team? There's only two of us.
CG - That constitutes a team.
GOG - Doesn't that make us partners?
CG - In this case it's a team. I don't know you well enough to make you a partner and you are not my type.
GOG - What are you inferring?
CG - I would like to get back to the interview.
GOG - Well, you are the one taking it off track. Asking all of these ridiculous questions.
CG - I thought you would like to tell everyone why you'd be an important member of cynicalgamer.com.
GOG - What's it to you? Are you a cop or something?
CG - I already know what you are going to bring, but I thought you could tell everyone else.
GOG - What do you mean everyone else? There's only the two of us here.
CG - Remember we are doing an interview? Look, how about I tell everyone why you are onboard.
GOG - You just do that, but a little sherry might help me to get talking a bit. You know they call alcohol the truth serum.
CG - You have had more experience in gaming than anyone I know. I thought that you would be able to provide invaluable critical comment based on your life experience and your long time commitment as a gamer.
GOG - What would you know? You are only a relative infant ...
CG - Hang on, I am 33.
GOG - Like I said, when you get to my age you understand that you are only just getting out of your nappies by the time you hit 40.
CG - Well, let's tell them your age.
GOG - I think that is a bit rude, don't you.
CG - I've told everyone mine. Why not let them know yours.
GOG - In my day you didn't do that. You had a decent amount of respect for your elders. When you get to my age there aren't a whole lot of people who are older than you so that means I don't have to respect anyone.
CG - Anyway, let's just say that you have passed beyond the century mark.
GOG - Well, you are rude aren't you.
CG - You should be proud of how old you are.
GOG - Tell everyone that I am 21.
CG - I think that the gaming public will respect the fact that you are a hard core gamer because of how old you are.
GOG - They should respect me because of how old I am.
CG - But they don't know how old you are.
GOG - To tell them would be rude. You didn't do that in my day.
CG - How about we tell them that you have seen the turn of two centuries.
GOG - You've just told them how old I am.
CG - I want to get things on track. Remember, you are meant to be bringing your wisdom and gaming knowledge to thecynicalgamer.com
GOG - Yes, well that's to be expected. And what do you bring? What kind of humour is cynicism anyway? What you take something and twist it in to what you would call humour. I just think that you turn things in to the lowest common denominator for everyone.
CG - That is why we now have you. You will offer a completely different perspective. So, what's your favourite game?
GOG - Tennis.
CG - What is your favourite video game?
GOG - Miner 2049er.
CG - What's that one? I haven't heard of it. Is it a shooter?
GOG - A shooter? What you mean like space invaders? No, it is not like space invaders. There is a console out at the moment, but I am having some difficulty getting games for it. It's called the Atari 2600.
CG - The Atari 2600 was out 20 years ago.
GOG - Well, 20 years is probably a long time to you, but it is not for someone at my age. 20 years passes in the blink of an eye. Nothing happens quickly anyway. Do you know how long it took them to build the Sydney Harbour Bridge?
CG - No.
GOG - It took them nearly ten years. See, nothing decent can happen quicker than that. The Sydney Harbour Bridge is a beautiful icon of what makes our country Australian.
CG - But that has nothing to do with gaming.
GOG - It has everything to do with gaming. If it took them ten years to build that how could anyone make anything better in less time?
CG - Electronic Arts release a new sports game every 12 months.
GOG - How could they possibly make anything which is going to last a thousand years in 12 months? Do you know how long it took them to build the pyramids and they have lasted for longer than you and me ever will?
CG - But we are not talking about building something that will last an eternity, we are talking about video games. They come out all the time. A new one comes out, people buy it then they uninstall it and buy a new game.
GOG - See, that is your problem. You have no appreciation for the things you buy. You have subscribed to this "throw away" society. Buy a car and throw it away. I had the same wife for 60 years, just like I've had the same fridge for 30. I still wear clothes that I bought 30 years ago, because I know what a tailor is. You see I understand the value of the things that I buy. The youth of today don't understand the value of money.
CG - Alright.
GOG - If I play a game I want to get at least 20 years value out of it. I bought a deck of cards in the 60s and I am still playing bridge with them. I think that deck of cards cost me two and six.
CG - I understand what you are saying, but new games come out all the time now. People play them for six or even ten hours and then are finished with them.
GOG - And how much do they pay for these games?
CG - Between $70 to $120 depending on the format and the game.
GOG - What? You are kidding me right? That is how much I used to earn in a month when I was in my prime. That is highway robbery. Entertainment that lasts six to ten hours and costs you that much money? I knew prostitutes, not that I would do the wrong thing by my Marjory, who would charge you $10 and give you an hours entertainment. You young people must be loaded. You should be paying me for my time here.
CG - I guess times have changed.
GOG - Maybe they have. I think your ten minutes is up. I want my sherry now.
CG - Thanks grumpy.
posted by thecynicalgamer @ 9:35 am
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